Today marks 7 years with my S.O! It’s kind of amazing and really weird all at once. Surely I’m not old enough to have been in a serious relationship for 7 years??? Oh well, here’s some stuff I’ve learned in all that time.
You need to own who you are and what you need/want.
In the early years of my relationship, I was just a young adult still growing into my personality. I was having to juggle learning about myself on my own with learning about myself in a partnership, and sometimes the two got mixed up and jumbled together.
I have also been learning over time about the difference between compromising for one situation, versus compromising myself and my needs. One is okay. The other is not.
You have to choose your relationship every day.
Just because you’ve been in a relationship for five years doesn’t mean the hard part is over and that relationship is going to last forever. Every day you have to choose to take part in your relationship and you have to choose your partner. If you stop choosing your relationship, it breaks apart one way or another.
Communication is way hard, and (I’m pretty sure) it’s always going to be that way.
Why is communication so hard for humans? Or maybe it’s just me? Whether it’s making the extremely bad decision to have serious conversations over text that get misinterpreted, or just struggling to translate my feelings into the right words, I feel like I’m always having to work my tail off to properly communicate with my S.O. But it is so important, so I’m just going to have to keep working at it and getting better forever and ever.
It’s okay to forgive.
Life is hard. People suck at it a lot of the time. Because of that, you might get hurt, even by the person you love most. But it’s okay to forgive them, if you want to. If you don’t want to, you should probably get out, because staying mad at your partner does nothing except make you feel prolonged unhappiness. I wrote a whole post on forgiveness here.
It’s a two-way street.
If you’re choosing your relationship every day, your partner needs to choose it, too. If you’re showing up for your partner to both the fun things and the things you could do without, your partner needs to show up for you, too. Both sides need to support each other.
A good relationship makes life pretty damn glorious.
My S.O. is my best friend. With him, I have explored the world, grown into who I am today, and shared my deepest craziest dreams. Together we’ve made friends, gone to new places, and tried new things. He makes me laugh and smile. Every minute I get to spend with him is a gift and he makes life awesome.
Sorry that got way cheesy at the end, but I think it had to on Valentine’s Day.
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Any other life lessons you’ve learned in your relationships? Let me know!