Well, convocation and grad season is upon us. I’ve attended two convocation ceremonies this week.
With graduation comes the question everyone dreads, the question we wish everyone would stop asking us, the question we can’t help asking – “What’s next?” And you look at your Bachelor of whatever and think, “I don’t know!”
I’m here to tell you that there is a lot of stuff you’ve learned in the past four years. You just need to recognize it and use it to your advantage. Things you’ve learned are:
How to function on little to no sleep
Sometimes you need to pull an all-nighter. All that means is that you need to pour some coffee down your throat all day long, do some in-class open-eyed napping, and learn how to translate your incomprehensive sleep-language notes when finals roll around.
How to prioritize your time
Everyone knows that it is far more important for you to stop at the campus bar, grab dinner, tool around on the internet, and creep people on Facebook than it is for you to write your essay at a decent hour. Optimal essay-writing time is the night before it’s due. You are well-practiced and have become a master at this skill.
How to sound smart by making up bull… you know
Maybe this is strictly a humanities thing. You throw enough points of persuasion and sound confident in what you’re saying and you sound like you’re making a decent enough point to hold your own in a debate, paper, or exam. Perhaps, due to today’s political events, I shouldn’t be encouraging the bull, but for the sake of comedy, this point is staying, because we all know that there has been at least one paper that we had to just desperately get through.
How to find the best public sleeping spots
Usually the 4th to 6th floor of the library is best for public napping. But any student lounge, random chair in a corner, or abandoned hallway will do. But you already know that.
How to multitask like a champ
Eating, typing, reading, researching, watching TV all at once! There’s no time to focus on one thing!!!
How to persevere
Your having earned a university degree is a mark of your perseverance. You’ve slogged through four years of stress, anxiety, long nights, endless assignments, and lack of sleep. Your hard work has paid off and you are finally at the end of this road. If you can survive working toward your degree, you can survive anything! Go out there, graduate, and conquer the world! And congratulations!